Suicidal Feelings and Social Justice

I was shocked to find out that Will Hall has still occasionally felt suicidal - Will Hall, the hero. Internationally known expert, consultant and teacher. Who had been diagnosed with schizophrenia and beat it, and is living without meds.

Watch on Youtube:

Will Hall: Suicidal feelings and social justice 

And this is a longer audio version of similar topic, from Berlin.

For him, suicidal feelings or thoughts don't mean giving up on life, but feeling desire for change and a hopelessness/powerlessness about that change. The feelings/thoughts are a messenger to change something. And more hope/empowerment is needed. Plus connection with people one can talk with. (Without fearing consequences of being hospitalized or such.)

I was missing more on social justice and connection with poverty and such, he does say there has been a connection and that we likely need a revolution. :) Also, a different way to treat people with such thoughts.

I was suicidal as a teen, but am soo glad I didn't go through with it, cause I'd miss soo many great things that have happened!

Who Am I? And who are you? :)

I still don't know exactly what type of blog this will be. Personal and educational comes to mind.

I envy some people who post about their troubles and pain with raw sincerity.

At first I wanted to have an informative blog with topics worthy of posting, but I was told people want to hear how I've been personally too. Then I told them. And they were a bit shocked and surprised.

The other day I told an internet friend the truth too, about my past 2 years, in a nutshell. She went silent on me - maybe it was the shock, or maybe she was just too young... (or couldn't process the words so fast, it was in a foreign language for her after all...)
I was always the older, wiser one. I was the smart one, with the advice and knowing what to do.
I was a straight A student, at a time. (Though I later had some Bs and Cs, on purpose, and a life, some of it, at least.)
What good are all those As and hours of cramming stuff into my head now? I don't know. I've forgotten pretty much most of it. I've forgotten more than you've ever known, probably. I process information fast, remember it for a time, then forget it. This is useful, or it would all be in my head. Sure I remember some - important - things.

My life is not very eventful now. Or is it?
I started tapering off meds. There is more to this, but I am reluctant to tell. Or maybe I will. In a next post or so.

For the past 2 years I behaved like I've gone off to vacation. Sure, I still did some eco activist work, but very little in comparison to before. I felt like I had this diagnosis and life was pretty much over.
Who would take me seriously as an eco activist? Yet surprisingly, some people still do. 

I still have intellectual curiosity. I still want to do things. I still want to change the world and make it a better place.

I want to connect with others who have also been through a lot and are making a difference. But then again, aren't we all? Just by existing. Flawed, imperfect, yet so very much real. And here.

So, who are you? :) I'll be happy if you leave a comment!